It is quite a time now..From the last milestone post. The feeling to sit down and write something on any subject is very moody affair to me. I assume ,it happens to every body .. Never mind, we will come to the point in the next paragraph where we left in last milestone.
Post Y2K -2001-2002- continued----
In a single word- she was mesmerizing to me.It is like GOD fulfils your dream in a single shot..I cannot remember whether I mentioned in some earlier posts or not, but it was a very naive and simple hearted request to GOD in my adolescence, that to help me recognize my life partner in the very sight of her without any doubt in mind. This type of idea came to me ,when I was just completed 15 years of age perhaps.I wrote it down somewhere in my personal diary as well. At that point of time, I did not realize, GOD will really do miracle like this.
Feeling of love and craving to see her everytime was not enough back then.. GOD created an artist in me to give me a realization that something is different in me. I understood very quickly that I developed a skill of creating small set of "sayari"(urdu poetry) .. It was quite dramatic transition for me because ,lifelong I always struggled to understand poetry in classes. In the subject of Language, I could not comprehend the hidden meaning of the poetry and always took help of the guidebooks for the same,And for me to formulate rhymes and put it in words of hindustani sayari form , is really filmy..but believe it or not --it is true.. I think which is why Love is called a disease.It has many side effects with itself.
A sense of overwhelming joy was constantly inside me in those first days of new found love, though it was quite depressing environment surrounding us in those days,if I am looking back now.The most interesting twist came to my love story came when I cannot bear the idea that she still does not know " I LOVE HER". Some circumstances were also helping -such as- some fellow student in the ED(Engineering Drawing) classes were very affectionate to help her in the studies of lines and 3D objects..And that idea of letting someone else say the three letter words to her was intolerable, though I was totally ignorant of her..A gush of adrenalin came from somewhere from my body and I finally decided to break all sorts of barrier of shyness and talk to her.. But """""" what I will say?##### Big question mark.I tried to streamline my mind and heart to put up some procedure to initiate talking.
By the way, I just want to say that all this was going along with studies.I never forgot to study as it was the only one factor for which I met her in that college. Hence, I believed that , if GOD permitted me to take chance on romance and find love, there was no way giving away the main course on which HE put me in for which we got the chance to see the bystanders (other emotions of life).. Hence love affair is called a part of life. To summarize in a better way, if we want to lead a good life, we must allow Thy's intervention sometimes and prioritize our own goals. We should focus on the path called life , everything will come on timely basis, if we deserve..And He will guide us in the righteous path in each part of life. And by assembling these parts of life, we will complete our own journey someday successfully.
A bit of lecture in between the interesting chapters.... quite boring to some people..But I cannot take the blame from my readers that I misguided any body to the experience of love which is also interchangeable with life as well.
Ok, I continue where I left.. I started learning writing Hindi language first.. You must be thinking that what kind of person is this -- ignorant or illiterate. No I am not illiterate but yes I was ignorant of some of the basic facts before proceeding with some adventures.Nevertheless, I continued my crash course in Hindi writing from a not-so-very scholarly person but very interesting person named Sandeep Sharma in my love story. This crash course was based on the firm assumption that my love (she) must not know how to read odiya(our mother language). To that point , I came to know that she came from DPS,Nalco, which is the only DPS in Odisha which is one of the premier school in CBSE in our state. And I believed that, in convent schools , students normally can't read odiya fonts due to lack of interest and practice.It was based on my experience with my cousins who went to so called convent schools.My learning was over by the end of second week of December 2001..I was now thinking to put my "sayari" sets into paper.
I bought one set of A2 size of Drawing paper, cut it down rectangle shapes to look like notes. bordered with red lines in each sheet. you must know that I am a kind of a handicap when it comes to drawing . I tried my best to not to jeopardize my own best efforts to put a first love letter of my life ,by any means.Hence, very carefully, I did not try to invent more arts in myself ,but to put it to some simple straight lines and my poems.Along with I bought one greeting card of yellow roses (I completely afraid to give red rose greeting card at the very first time).. Now everything is ready.. Whom should I trust to become my post-man was the first problem.
Actually I found one guy who incidentally happened to be geographically nearer to her in Nalco.He hailed from NTPC, Talcher. I caught him befriending with each and every girl who he came across, so I deduced that this person had some talent to convince a girl to do at least some sort of like post-waomanship..This thought came to me when I met Jaydeep outside the class session of chemistry for review of answer paper, after our internal exam where this boy was strolling with some other class mate(girl) . and in other hand ,I was experiencing something awesome for the first time- my first interaction with her. Below are the detailed description
I fortunately became the highest scorer in chemistry in my section for the first internal exam. I am perplexed and surprised with my new unknown expertise Chemistry.. I was thinking what a coincidence, I found interest in chemistry after 3 years when I found my love who is in Chemical Engineering. Anyone can be dumbfounded with this much of chain of facts though superstitious. Ok,Ok enough..Now the scene was -she was arguing with the teacher for some wrong answer.. teacher indicated towards me for explanation to her question. I was in the cloud # nine.. I did not know what to answer .. I was just looking at her face & could not get what she was telling for at least first 2 minutes. Then she requested to take my paper to see for herself. and then she looks at me (perhaps enviously) . I dared to speak a little with very controlled emotions.Another coincidence , happened then, she knew the place where my father was working at that point time.. I was again surprised to know from a DPS student to know such an interior place on Earth..May be ,her strong part was Geography- I thought.. Later on she told that her Ajaa(means Maternal Grand Father) was there for some year in the forest services..I did not want to flee from that place, but to control my happiness and blushing smile , I came out from that place and found out the boy I described earlier..
Jaydeep was surprised to the hell to know that my-kind-of boy can also fall in love and that to a DPS girl.
Though he did not discourage me , I could sense of danger to go so aggressively for the first love letter and that to ,just after one internal exam.Seniors were watching every movement of us and can do anything to suppress any such advances.Seniors normally think they have the birthright to take upon the junior girls. I understand this nature comes from our basic idea to marry a girl whose age is below of the boy's..whatever-----
Though surprised, Jaydeep extended his help to be the first chain of post-manship which I required for the Mission-Love-Possible.Ha ha ha.. When I am writing these down, I just felt visiting my college days again..
I am very weak in remembering dates and hence I did not remember when exactly I gave my parcel of letters to Jaydeep but by process of elimination, I am slightly sure about the Dec 25th night in 2001.
For now , I am signing off..
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