This post is in continuation with the last post named Milestone dated 20.02.2011.I was thinking to march further on that subject from many days. But, never I could get a time for think and write.Just now , I was afresh because of meeting to an old friend from my Engineering college-his name is Mr. Shailendra Gouda-There is unknown chemistry from day one between us though I know I don't believe many of ways of his thinking process.Still I enjoyed his company whenever I had a chance.OK let us focus on my subject of today.
I was writing about my 2nd milestone- love.This 4 letter word is the most enchanting and charismatic word of my life when I fell into it,but before that ,it was just as normal word in the dictionary.When i was 12 years old, friends (100% boys) always talked why I love you is told to a girl or boy in cinema.I was thoughtful about why no such cinematic language is seen in real life.So, a kind of belief cements in my sub-conscious that such love stories are fake and only fiction-so can only be seen in reel life but not in real life.
Even after getting pass out from from +2 college, I remember that I never cared for love.But the turning point of my life came when at the age of 16 , I took the thread ceremony of my life. Though I was not a brahmin, I was taken the oath (dikhsya) from Gayatri Pariwar for chanting the Gayatri Mantra at around that age in some village with my own interest - reason or biggest reason- I wanted to give up Anger-And why Anger Because I just had beaten one friend of mine 2 days ago with some sandals (cause- I came to know that boy had blinded one of my favorite stray dog at our tuition class)-seems funny. But at that tender age , I was so angry that I could Kill that boy. I love dogs- sorry every animals- I am afraid of many animals, insects and reptiles but cannot tolerate anybody causing harm to them at least in front of me.
Once I cried in front of my mother because my big brother catches a bee and put her into match box and dropped it into a hole in the backyard.Actually before that scene I was crying for help to be free from that bee only .Big brother helped me in that sense, but i did not like the way he tortures the little creature.So, that is me. I emphasized the word love in the previous para because I noticed myself engulfed with the sweet feeling of love or longingnness towards other creatures from the very childhood. When some turbulent situations had gone through our family, I have seen my family cry.I had asked the first and last question to my father that why my mother is crying.My father replied that you will get to know when you will be grown up.
Ok, now at the age of 17, I felt myself enough grown-up to understand the complex process of love. Still I was afraid of looking straight to any girl in front of me.I was so proud of this attitude that I never felt it to be changed.So, I never talked to a girl straight.Till the age of 21 I can feel the pride of being Indian-Love for mother country, the pride of being such a good child of great parents- love of myself and love for parents. After 5 years of spiritual self regulation, I could manage to frame a question for my messy thought process of mysterious love. As I read some of the scriptures, they are all over-shadowed by the passion of love only, I now,very well know that what is this love- the supreme thing which cure every odds of human beings.
I was quite well aware of the theoretical love which I can describe in language. But, unfortunately, I was still unable to feel it.Sometimes, I just sat in some lonely place and jot down my feelings. In those days, I had managed to scribble some golden thoughts which translates to the exact happening in my life as a coincidence. But, I never believed so.Some guiding angel was there to show me the future course , or some sign of it.That is why I was in such a desperate search of love at that age.
While reading many articles in "Yug Shakti Gayatri", The Bhagwat Gita,some Puraanas, I felt that love is something which everybody is unknown of - If that kind of love is embodied in every human then this world will be like heaven or something.I raised my eyebrows again when I read about crying for somebody because he/she missed him/her very much.The crying thing was the burning question in my heart for a long period till I melt down and cried for somebody and later on for Almighty.
Enough for today..
The search continues......till I met someone.....
I was writing about my 2nd milestone- love.This 4 letter word is the most enchanting and charismatic word of my life when I fell into it,but before that ,it was just as normal word in the dictionary.When i was 12 years old, friends (100% boys) always talked why I love you is told to a girl or boy in cinema.I was thoughtful about why no such cinematic language is seen in real life.So, a kind of belief cements in my sub-conscious that such love stories are fake and only fiction-so can only be seen in reel life but not in real life.
Even after getting pass out from from +2 college, I remember that I never cared for love.But the turning point of my life came when at the age of 16 , I took the thread ceremony of my life. Though I was not a brahmin, I was taken the oath (dikhsya) from Gayatri Pariwar for chanting the Gayatri Mantra at around that age in some village with my own interest - reason or biggest reason- I wanted to give up Anger-And why Anger Because I just had beaten one friend of mine 2 days ago with some sandals (cause- I came to know that boy had blinded one of my favorite stray dog at our tuition class)-seems funny. But at that tender age , I was so angry that I could Kill that boy. I love dogs- sorry every animals- I am afraid of many animals, insects and reptiles but cannot tolerate anybody causing harm to them at least in front of me.
Once I cried in front of my mother because my big brother catches a bee and put her into match box and dropped it into a hole in the backyard.Actually before that scene I was crying for help to be free from that bee only .Big brother helped me in that sense, but i did not like the way he tortures the little creature.So, that is me. I emphasized the word love in the previous para because I noticed myself engulfed with the sweet feeling of love or longingnness towards other creatures from the very childhood. When some turbulent situations had gone through our family, I have seen my family cry.I had asked the first and last question to my father that why my mother is crying.My father replied that you will get to know when you will be grown up.
Ok, now at the age of 17, I felt myself enough grown-up to understand the complex process of love. Still I was afraid of looking straight to any girl in front of me.I was so proud of this attitude that I never felt it to be changed.So, I never talked to a girl straight.Till the age of 21 I can feel the pride of being Indian-Love for mother country, the pride of being such a good child of great parents- love of myself and love for parents. After 5 years of spiritual self regulation, I could manage to frame a question for my messy thought process of mysterious love. As I read some of the scriptures, they are all over-shadowed by the passion of love only, I now,very well know that what is this love- the supreme thing which cure every odds of human beings.
I was quite well aware of the theoretical love which I can describe in language. But, unfortunately, I was still unable to feel it.Sometimes, I just sat in some lonely place and jot down my feelings. In those days, I had managed to scribble some golden thoughts which translates to the exact happening in my life as a coincidence. But, I never believed so.Some guiding angel was there to show me the future course , or some sign of it.That is why I was in such a desperate search of love at that age.
While reading many articles in "Yug Shakti Gayatri", The Bhagwat Gita,some Puraanas, I felt that love is something which everybody is unknown of - If that kind of love is embodied in every human then this world will be like heaven or something.I raised my eyebrows again when I read about crying for somebody because he/she missed him/her very much.The crying thing was the burning question in my heart for a long period till I melt down and cried for somebody and later on for Almighty.
Enough for today..
The search continues......till I met someone.....
3 comments:
i'm not reading such a long kahani... gadhe!!!
tere ko love k alawa aur kuch samajh aata bhi hai??
es topic par ab tak tu 3rd ya 4th time likh raha hai.
to saalaa kya tere upar likhun ya tere jaise wo sapne(pata nahi kya???) ke upar likhun?
Previously, i skipped reading this blog post of yours. Whatever, commendable writing directly from your experience.
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